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 Bungie Weekly Update: 05/27/2011

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Noble 96
Noble 96

Posts : 410
Join date : 2010-10-05
Location : South Africa

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PostSubject: Bungie Weekly Update: 05/27/2011    Bungie Weekly Update: 05/27/2011  Icon_minitimeTue Jun 07, 2011 2:01 pm

Bungie Weekly Update:

Quote :
Like most life lessons, those doled out by JFK International Airport’s inquisitive TSA agents must be learned the hard way. After Dave Candland setup an ill-advised airport security joke, a lovely young lady with a surprisingly tender touch supplied our away team with an unexpected punch line.

“Blue gloves or clear?”

I would have taken pictures of the events that followed, but my phone had already been confiscated and I was in a somewhat compromising position. We prostrate ourselves for you. Or is it prostate? Either way, my excruciatingly intimate adventures through LAX and JFK are finally over, and after missing out on two consecutive Bagel Fridays, spending too much time not sleeping on turbulent planes or in musty roadside motel rooms, and enduring two full days saturated by dude musk at Claude’s Halo pajama jammy jam (more on that in a bit), I have to say it feels great to be home again.

Hell, I’ll even go so far as to say that I missed you.

And it looks like at least one of you missed us, too.

Yup, truth told we have been less and less active on Bungie.net as of late. Part of that is owed to my aforementioned travel arrangements, but a significant amount of my time is also now being dedicated to other upcoming endeavors that won’t make a splash on the front page until Bungie Day closes in around us. Unfortunately, that means there are just too many balls in the air for me to juggle without letting a few fall to the ground.

More explicit details about those balls in the weeks ahead. Today, we’re gonna go back in time. First stop on our magical mystery tour: the dark and pungent bowels of Banadu.

Band For No Reson

Well, technically you weren’t playing this “dame game” to begin with, my eloquently disappointed friend, but I do feel obligated to respond to your carefully wrought inquiry. In fact, allow me to cook up a quick Q&A that tackles everything in one fell swoop (which, in point of fact, is my absolute favorite kind of swoop).

Let’s kick it off with a recap of Jeremiah’s forum notice, just in case you’ve yet to lay eyes on it.

“We have executed a round of Credit Resets with a temporary Credit Ban for accounts which have habitually exhibited idling or "AFK" behavior while playing in Firefight Matchmaking. We'll be keeping a close eye on all of the accounts which we have taken action against. Further action will be taken if necessary, up to or including a temporary or permanent Matchmaking Ban.

When you idle or "AFK" frequently you're causing a negative impact on the enjoyment and integrity of the game for other players. Anytime you are in a Matchmaking session of Halo: Reach you are expected to be actively playing the game, we award you Credits in good faith and trust that you are earning them. Violating that trust by earning Credits that you don't deserve and negatively impacting the experience of other players will result in the removal of Credits.

Furthermore, using network manipulation to splinter a Matchmaking session so you can benefit from games intended for groups of players is not acceptable. When you do this you deprive the other players in your session of a teammate and you degrade their online experience. We have provided a single player Firefight playlist called Score Attack which you can use if you wish to play alone.”

Q. OMG! All my hard earned Credits were stolen from me! What’s going on!?

A. A few thousand players have been spending an awful lot of time exploiting matchmade Firefight games to rack up Credits without having to work the controls. While we couldn’t care less what you do with your apparent abundance of spare time, we do care about the negative impact you have upon other poor players who have been forced to endure your shenanigans in Firefight for far too long. As a result the Banhammer was recently upgraded, and this brand of bad behavior is now being punished with Credit revocation, Credit earning bans, or Matchmaking bans depending on the severity of the crime.

Q. I wasn’t hurting anyone! Why do you care if I construct depressingly elaborate systems that allow me to earn Credits while I’m busy re-watching my Twilight DVDs?

A. I’m going to be right back with your answer in just a bit. While I’m away, please stare at the following image for approximately fifteen minutes. Repeat each time you feel the urge to “play” some Firefight.

Seriously, keep staring. Something amazing is about to happen.

Q. Why don’t you just detect idle players and boot them from the game?

A. We do that, too. Those caught in the latest net are players who actively circumvent our standard detection methods. They’re like the Michael Jordans of Not Playing.

Q. It wasn’t me! It was my four year old! Why did I get caught up in all of this madness?

A. If your little bundle of Firefightin’ joy is playing without taking extended, mid-game breaks from the action you likely won’t be caught by our new detection mechanisms. That said we’d like to take this opportunity to recommend that you present your children with more age appropriate entertainment experiences, like say Maxim Magazine or an episode or two of Spartacus.

Jokes aside, if you believe your supervised child’s style of play fits the modus operandi of a player attempting to avoid idle detection (namely, short bursts of play punctuated by long spells of in-game inactivity), we recommend you set up a custom game for them so as not to negatively impact other players’ experiences. After all, few people want to play with someone who has a rotten load in their pants. A lesson Pete Parsons has learned all too well.

Of course, we want to ensure that any potential false positives are properly identified. Top Men are doing double and triple checks to make sure only legitimate offenders are punished for their crimes against humanity.

Q. You will rue the day you banned me! How does it feel to know that I’ll never play Halo again?

A. It hurts deep down inside.

Naughty bits out of the way, let’s dig into some welcome community behavior.
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